'Hope' was what we believed in and that helped us wade through the last two weeks. We lost 'hope' yesterday when I got my period. For some reason I did not break down or cry though I was very hopeful this cycle. I hate that moment when I had to tell my dear hubby about my period. I could make out from his eyes how much disappointed he was...I feel so bad that am not able to gift him the baby of our dreams :(
Today is CD2 and we visited our RE for the regular baseline testing. It was not just two of us who were hopeful this cycle, our Dr. Wizard was very hopeful too. I could see he was a little disappointed but he tried hard not to show it. He is one of the best doctors I have ever come across. He was a gentleman when he said not to get depressed about what happened and gave us few words of encouragement which meant a lot to us at that moment. The doctor is going to put me on Clomid from CD3 to CD7 which should help me ovulate more this cycle. The idea of giving Clomid is because he wants me to produce multiple eggs to increase chances of pregnancy as one of tubes is blocked. He told me I could use ovulation predictor kits to see when I ovulate and then have intercourse. He is trying not to stress us with more appointments this cycle. So we will not have a post coital test and ultrasound around the time I ovulate. We are left to fish in the dark.
The hardest part is that we are left with just this cycle for the next few months as S has to undergo a surgery for his kidney stone. The surgery is very essential based on his recent scans and reports so we cannot push it for another time. It would take at least 2-3 months for him to heal completely before we can start trying again....which initially sounded disappointing to us as we had just cleared up few things on my hormonal imbalances and were trying with a perfect hormone environment. But giving it a second thought we feel that postponing the kidney stone surgery will only cause more problems and we do not want to get into an emergency situation. So we decided to have the surgery in the first week of November. That gives us one last cycle (at least for the time being) to try....
I will be turning 29 this month. 30 does not sound too nice especially when it comes to fertility....I am trying not to get too stressed thinking about that.
Life goes on....another month, another cycle.....but no tears this time.
