We waited for this moment....and it happened!

I had my beta and an early u/s…I am just 5 weeks and its quite early for an u/s but my RE wanted to do it anyway due to my ectopic history. S accompanied me to the u/s room. We really didn’t know what to expect and what not to expect. I have never been so anxious in my life! The technician came in and she put the probe in and said ‘I can see a little something’, I lifted my head and looked at the screen and she said ‘there it is’….and I saw that little black circle and a small white dot on the top in my uterus!!!! I broke down right on the table with tears running down…my hubby held my hand tight. He had this 'relieved' smile I have never seen before and some tears too. The last 2 years, ectopic pregnancy, IUIs and trips to RE just went past my mind and I just felt it was all so worth it for this very moment!!! I am so grateful for everything. I love that little white dot! The technician said she sees what she needs to see for 5 weeks. We are still early for a heartbeat but that would be our next milestone in 1.5 weeks! I just wish everything works well form here on…This is a big step for us as we never thought my tube was compatible for transport.

On our way back home…I was so overwhelmed with joy…we just kept looking at each other and kept smiling. It did happen! I have a lot of mixed feelings now…it is true we are a couple who got lucky before our planned IVF cycle. I never dreamt it would happen to us. But the truth is, none of this changes what we dealt with infertility. I am still a part of that and for some reason I want to be. I just don’t want anyone to think we are one of those couples who got pregnant just like that…because I know what it takes to get there! I have been through it maybe not all of it but at least some of it. This is a miracle for us and I thank God for being so kind. The new path is exciting but scary. Infertility makes you question each and every thing and makes you expect the worst every time so you are prepared for the best and makes you smile at the smallest joys life can bring! And as always Thank you everyone for making my journey less stressful :)

Quick update

First off am sorry to have disappeared. Last two days at work were hectic with long meetings. Hoping it will be better rest of the week. I went in for my second beta on Monday. My beta levels during my last ectopic pregnancy were very slow rising initially and after the fifth week it shot up high. Anxiety was no less this time! Good news is it came back at 596!! I go in for my third beta on Friday. They will do an ultrasound only if it crosses 1500 or 2000. I am thinking that would be next week if everything goes well. I stopped temping and poas...thanks for the advice ladies!! I freak out at times but after reading sass's post yesterday I have been trying to believe in this pregnancy. It makes things much easier that way. Thanks sass!

Just hanging in there...

I wish I could stop

-          googling about hcg and progesterone levels

-          getting obsessive about 0.2 deg drop in temperatures

-          thinking why there are no symptoms yet

-          getting anxious each time I go to the bathroom

The last one is the most difficult because of my previous ectopic pregnancy. I started spotting around 5 weeks and they detected it at 6.5 weeks. I’m so scared to pee now! I didn’t POAS today…thought I will give a break and try tomorrow. The only symptom I am having is mild cramping on and off and sore breasts on and off…my temp dipped a little today which scares me but I am trying not to obsess too much about it. Maybe I should just stop temping for a while. Next beta is on Monday! Thank you so much for all your wishes yesterday!! It really means a lot to me.